Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A stereotype that movies don't mess up:

Do you work in an office building or school, or anything similar? If so, you probably have a maintenance man (or woman). Usually, movies or sitcoms cast this person as an unsightly person trapped in a time warp who takes their job entirely too seriously.
The typical maintenance Man is often seen wearing 22 year old leather boots (because they can be resoled one more time… they're good for another year at least), dirty blue jeans or polyester slacks (whatever the dress code at his company calls for), a belt that matches his boots with a spring snap key ring dangling off of it (the key ring holds countless keys, of which I'm guessing he uses a max of 5) and either a gas station style nametag shirt or hoodie (depending on the season). You can usually count on this man to have either mutton chops or a circa 1973 porn 'stache.
If you walk by this man, you may get the impression that he doesn't like you, or wants nothing to do with you. That feeling couldn't be further from the truth. He, in fact, is using his demeanor to impress you. In his world, if his job isn't done to a tee, lives are at stake and he wants everyone to see the undying determination in his eyes as he walks around the building a half step faster than anyone else (although it usually takes an eternity to finish a job that has been started).
I've noticed, that the typical maintenance woman is an entirely different creature. You know in some fairy tale stories when the princess kisses the frog and it turns into a prince? Now imagine a frog ACTUALLY turning into a person. Get my drift? If not, three words: Jaba the Hut. My experience with maintenance women has left me with the impression that they are usually either very friendly (wanting to talk your ear off about their grandkids) or they simply hate you. I have also been left feeling a bit jealous, always comparing their perfectly groomed facial hair to my own disheveled whiskers (yes, I'm still talking about the maintenance woman). They move at a significantly slower pace that the maintenance man. One major difference between the man and woman is their form of revenge. If you upset a maintenance man, don't count on your things getting fixed promptly. If you upset a maintenance woman, don't even tell her that something is messed up… not only will she not get to it timely, but she'll mess up 3 other things just to spite you.

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